I remember sitting with a couple once and you could tell the bride was getting frustrated making all of the decisions and carrying the conversation 95% of the time when asked questions as her groom was playing on his phone and what looked to not be paying attention… However, the minute we spoke about dropping China and using plasticware to save money; that groom chimed in so quickly stating he wanted China and no plasticware no matter that cost… so just when you think they aren’t paying attention… they really are!

But I’ve also had the pleasure of marrying Mr. & Mrs. Claus a few years ago and I actually spoke to Santa throughout the entire planning process.  He was the one leading the way…so I never know who will be the main one in charge of making decisions and more & more couples this day both are very involved (forced or encouraged).

While we’ve hosted all types of weddings, couples, families and fun… majority of my couples up until this point have been a bride (and most likely momma) planning majority of the wedding festivities I’ll speak in that manor for this particular blog to showcase that in most weddings there is a “planner” of ALL things wedding & details and someone in the relationship that just wants that person to be happy.  It doesn’t mean they don’t care any less about that special day… most likely THEY were the ones who REALLY started this process by asking “THAT ONE” very important question that started all of this anyways…

This BLOG is for THAT person!  There are plenty of blogs for the “planner” of the day but this one is for the one who may or may not come across as passive and not caring… I want to make you look like a HERO!  Here’s a few things you can do to show you care throughout this process…

Agree to go to at least a few meetings:

  • One wedding show or open house (then encourage her to take a friend or her mom to the others)
  • One venue walkthrough… hopefully when picking out the place you’ll say I DO
  • Food tastings (come on… I had you at food, I know)

About six months out from your wedding date, reach out to your florist and ask them to deliver flowers to your significant other at work.  Have them use the flowers of the wedding or at least the colors of the wedding if they are not in season.  Put on the card something like “I can’t wait until we say I do.  I notice all of your hard work to make our day memorable.) ~Count XYZ # days

Really wanna show them you care?!??! Reach out to the bakery and pick up a cake or desserts in your wedding day flavors on their birthday or for a BIG holiday.  Trust me they’ll notice!

Find out when their bridal portraits are and book a really nice restaurant late that evening in the city they are taking photos… she’ll be all made up and super hungry after sunset photos… Just chat with the photographer to set that time up.

But honestly… if you REALLY want to assist?


It takes on average 20-30 vendors to create a seamless beautiful professional wedding day between wedding, rehearsal and honeymoon… What can you do to help?

Take a few things off their very long to-do list

  • Ask your groomsmen/wedding party to be a part of the day, give them a list of first and last names AND if they will be bringing a date (with contact information).
  • Take care of your attire (early)…don’t stress them out
  • Find entertainment options (narrow down to 3 and then let them choose their favorite)
  • Book transportation to/from wedding AND the honeymoon because no one really wants to drive at the crack of dawn or after a long day of traveling
  • Christmas/Birthday give new luggage with customized luggage tags with BOTH of your new names on them
  • Order cute Hubby/Wifey/Couple t-shirts to wear while traveling (BIG bonus points if you wear them too)
  • Plan your honeymoon including place, resort, flights, excursions, spa, something special throughout the week (remember they handled ALL of the other details for the wedding) *CALL ME 910-617-2271- I can assist you here for FREE- my honeymoon planning is complimentary, even if I’m not your planner
  • Want bonus points… send flowers to their mother thanking them for going to all of the appointments with them

30 days prior to saying I Do, BOTH of you plan a day off…

  • Sleep in & relax a bit
  • Make appointment for marriage license
  • Plan lunch somewhere
  • And do something fun non- wedding that afternoon

Week of wedding:

  • Book night of the wedding hotel plans
  • You or your family take care of rehearsal dinner fully (even if it means using the vendors already hired)
  • Breakfast in bed one day- they will need the fuel this week
  • Book them a massage one day to remove any stresses
  • Give them a gift certificate for their nails & pedicure (spring for the deluxe & include a tip too)
  • Don’t forget to get your hands & feet done for all the wedding photos and honeymoon (you gotta look good too)
  • Have a small flower arrangement (wedding colors) delivered while at one of those appointments (no point in giving flowers day of wedding unless you’re not leaving for your honeymoon the following week)
  • Have their favorite wine/drink waiting for after work one day because there will be a day they overthink and thinks they forgotten something…
  • 2-3 days prior either cook or take them out, one less thing to think about


Day of I DO…

  • Send a note first thing in morning about your excitement
  • Maybe plan transportation the day of the wedding while they are getting ready
  • Ask if there are any last minute errands they needs done while they are getting ready for the day
  • Have lunch delivered where they are getting ready (make sure they know you’re taken care of this)
  • Don’t over drink waiting for the ceremony (instead lots of water & eat)
  • Show up on time
  • Send a gift while they are getting ready
  • Be ready to take 1000s of photos & don’t complain (remember to most couples the memories are their #1 vendor and they spent 1000s of dollars on that one vendor) so SMILE


Be patient and understanding and show you’re involved, paying attention and most importantly listening to their thoughts & appreciate their ideas….

These are just a few fun ways you can show you care!